Effort unpaid ~

Well, I guess most of we all did heard such a phrase before, right ? 90% hardwork and 10% luck is the key of study.. but I think they have left something else unmentioned, something vital – gifted !! Gifted in studies account for 50%, if not more out of the 90% mentioned. If one is not gifted in studies, there is no way for u to catch up with others who is, not to mention scoring !! I’m not whining if I’m not gifted or others but it is undeniable that talent does play a very very important role in assuring one’s achievement, especially studies. Compare to my friends, especially those JPA scholars, I have been through a real hard time on studies but the results turn out to be far worse than them, who spent times on clubbing, shopping, gaming, going for movies and so on.

From my bad experience with my agents, as well as past events, I know that there is no fairness or justice in this world. People who kill, rob, rap, cheat, and committing so many other sins don’t really seem to pay for what they did, and some, worse still, are enjoying their life, pretty much better and luxurious than those who work as if there is no day or night for them. I’m not whining on anything but somehow, I did feel helpless and hopeless, towards my study life here. I put in so much effort on my studies, more than 40hrs per week, but it doesn’t seem to help, at all!! Maybe I shouldn’t have belonged to here, shouldn’t have study with all those who are straight A1’s students, shouldn’t have taken up medicine course. Tension, stress and dull life is what I get after getting over here, in Yogya, although I really do love what I’m currently studying now, and kinda enjoying my medical knowledge gained here. But, for me, academic achievement does play an important role to keep me motivated and moving on. U know? It’s kinda discouraging and disappointing for getting to know that u didn’t do well in examinations, even it was after u putting in all u got in studies. Moreover, for me, it also does mean that I’m still not qualify enough and mastering knowledge learnt, because, exams are meant to assess your ability in understanding and mastering knowledge taught, aren’t they?

Well, I guess there is one thing I did learn and know after all these while, studying for medicine - my limit. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much effort I put in, it’ll still be in vain if I were wanting to score and be like my friends, simply because of my own limitation. No one can ever break their limit, can they? Well, at least now, I know my limit. I was once told by a friend of mine : be a good medical student, enjoy the knowledge. I was once take that as a force, a power to keep myself strike for the best but now, I guess, it’s about enjoying the knowledge learnt and applying it to help others in the future, instead of getting and aiming for good result. I knew I can never be as good as them but what I can do now is, enjoying the knowledge and try what I could to help those in need. I guess that my destiny.